okay

How many inanimate objects can you break in a span of two minutes without even trying?

traffic light 101

by my four-year old nephew:

Red is for?

Stop!

Green is for?

Go!

Yellow is for?

Faster! It’ll soon be red again!

stupid

can’t even follow a simple instruction.

I gave a mini acoustic guitar to my nephew who turned four yesterday. Am I slowly becoming the doting, single-for-life, (soon) cat-petting aunt?

at the south station

"Counting Blue Cars." Nope. Try "Counting White Buses Going To The Provinces While Freakishly Huge Mosquitoes Feast On My Nape And Buzz ‘Round My Ears."

There. That’s more like it.

I am waiting at the passengers’ area for my co-worker and his friends, and have probably played all the apt songs in my head while I am at it. We have earlier agreed to meet at 9 P.M.–I came here running at 8:45–but it’s way past 10:00 now and they have yet to show up. How I hate waiting. And don’t even get me started with people who are late for meetings whose time and place they did set to begin with.

Is it hiking season? There’s this large group of mountaineers to my left and an even larger one across from me. I hope they’re not going where I will be ’cause that will be too damn huge a crowd, and I will not like it.

A shiny silver mug dangling from one guy’s backpack catches my attention. Is this the mark of a true-blue, seasoned hiker? My gourmet spreader from Mom, pair of HBC-bought scissors, and red Daddy flashlight suddenly remind me of the wannabe that I am. I knew it; I should’ve brought a cup. And a rope. Just because I like to one-up people.

A mid-to-late-30s woman approaches and looks toward my general direction. She looks like she wants to take a seat, but there’s no more room so I take my backpack, which is taking up the whole space to my right, and put it on my lap. The woman sits down and strikes up a conversation with me. No, I’m not with these guys… Baguio, then Sagada… Yes, I know, but I don’t want to go to España for the bus to Banaue… No, it is my first time to go there… I am on my own… No, I don’t know anyone there… No, I’m just acting brave, really… She disagrees and tells me that it’ll be good for me. Where will I stay? At St. Joseph’s. Yeah, it’s nice and cheap, she says. Is she from Sagada? No, but nearby. I try to ever so coolly project that I have a foolproof plan for my virginal solitary travel to the mountains.

But she does not seem buy it.

She excuses herself and proceeds to the phone booth. To contact her Sagadan friends, I make a guess. “There’s this crazy woman going there alone. Look out for her. She looks like she might try to kill herself or something.” I hear her coins keep diving straight and clanging at the bottom of the change receptacle thingamajig whatever as soon as she’s inserted them. She gives up all hope of getting through and goes back to her seat.

Meanwhile, they are still nowhere in sight.

Take my number and contact me in case of trouble, she says, any trouble at all. Why, of course, I look troublesome. I key the digits into my phonebook. What’s her name? She’s Kat. Hi Kat, I’m Giuli. I’ll text you when I get there, thanks.

And they are still nowhere in sight.

I quietly watch the mountain boys across from me. Or stare at empty space, which I am really wont to do.

Am I okay? I nod and smile. I add that I’m waiting for my co-worker whom I’ll take the bus with going to Baguio and that from that point on I’ll be just with me and my lonely self. And it’s just that all this waiting business is making me antsy. She’s waiting for someone as well. So sit and wait, we do.

After some time, Kat finally gives up on her companion faster than I do, and leaves, never to return again.

i’ma borrow a friend’s favorite line:

Strangely, I feel fine.

If a bit weird.

But overall, I feel fine. I do.

Or maybe you should ask me again once everything has completely sunk in.

And the waiting begins…

giuli: do you know a cat breeder? i want a cat.

old acquaintance: why? are you planning on staying single for life?

you have outlived your emotional intelligence, giuli. yes, your old cool and crisp nonchalance was a work of art and genius. WAS because you’ve lost it; you don’t have it anymore. what were you thinking _allowing_ yourself to get too sticky tape-ly and much too involved? oh, right, you weren’t. and now…

i knew this was going to happen. i’ve seen it coming.
 
hey, don’t look at me like i didn’t warn you.

don’t stand so close to me

Meredith Grey (why, of Grey’s Anatomy, no less) says:

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other?  It’s usually a load of bull.

So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we have chosen those people, we tend to stick close by, no matter how much we hurt them.

The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.  And sure, sometimes, close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

About sums up what I feel. Only I couldn’t have said it better. And for this, Meredith, you’re my new best friend.

Feigning indifference; alienating the people, who, in fact, matter the mostest. Guilty as charged. What’s that smell? Drama? Merde. Stop.

spot on

Daily Overview for January 31, 2007
Provided by Astrology.com	Daily Extended Forecast

Quickie: An unspoken agreement is in danger of dissolving — it’s time to formalize things. Overview: There are so many feelings crowding your heart, and you want to express every single one of them. Try writing them or talking them out. You don’t need to act on all of them, and life will be much smoother.

Write them out?

Eh, for now, I shall be  Copy-Paste Queen.